After passing through the plate glass doors, I was stepped onto glossy white tiles interspersed with a grid of isolated black ones. Around me were polished steel and red neon tubing. On flat-screen behind the counter, a smiling stock photo of a call-centre worker was captioned with  ‘Real Answers from Real People! [my emphases]’ As I sat down to wait to open an account, I noticed the anodyne piped pop music playing in the background.

2014-04-11 18.26.29

Nothing like the demure and bland English high-street banks I’m used to, this building bellowed ‘I’m American!’, in loud red, white and blue graphics. I gazed around in amused fascination, wondering how this aesthetic could belong to a bank that hadn’t yet fallen to corporate sleaze – one that wasn’t yet too big to fail.

The sceptic in me suspects that the bank’s favourable ratings with Ethical Consumer and  Move Your Money are simply because they have a clean rap sheet. They haven’t had time to invest in the arms trade, evade taxes and mistreat their customers, let alone be bailed out by the state and continue to do so.

I put in my earphones to block out the Muzak. ‘All my senses rebel!’ Brendan Parry’s voice solemnly proclaims. I’ve walled myself off to the extend that the man just who sat down next to me is seen first. I shrug.

2014-04-11 19.12.11

A retouched photograph of what the site of the bank 100 years ago was printed onto a large backlit canvas. The colours are vivid and artificial, in a sense aiming to be more real than those of the original scene.

2014-04-11 19.02.38

‘Dogs rule’ read another poster. Pictured in this one is Metro Bank founder Vernon Hill’s dog Sir Duffield. This no-doubt expensive canine-friendly branding exercise seems to be Hill’s personal whim.

All of the branding makes more sense when you view it as a manifestation of the aesthetic sensibilities of a man who cut his teeth developing properties for McDonald’s. He already has the successful American Commerce bank behind him and he hasn’t altered his fast-food retail strategy of long hours and smiling mascots a great deal for the UK.

I hope the fast-food analogy doesn’t run too deep.


When the US diplomatic cables were published in 2010, Julina Assange emerged as something of a figurehead and was represented positivity in the left-wing press. Naively, I saw him as something of a hero, a man whose fame was derived from his intellect, technical ability and principles.

After reading Andrew O’Hagen’s account of the months he spent attempting to ghost-write an autobiography for Assange, which exceed 25,000 words, I cannot deny that his personality is flawed. He displays a lack of empathy, manners and a sense of responsibility. He treats those he collaborates with with a general disregard and rails against them furiously when they turn against him. He favours large scale simultaneous dumping of hundred of thousands of documents, each one with its own complex set of circumstances. According to O’Hagen, he was partly motivated by the shock and awe of such an explosive leak of information, the spectacle of it. He is reported to have voiced conflicting opinions on the importance of redacting people’s names from these documents in the interest of their safety; his attitude seems ambivalent. It was up to The Guardian, The New York Time, Le Monde and Der Spiegel to ethically edit the information. The former two organization, Assange has come to view as enemies.

This is not the first time his personality and private life have been dissected, especially after his relationship with the organisation who published the cables broke down. There have been many allegation in the press and I’ve heard different opinions on his character voiced since. One friend compared him to Hitler, in his single-minded and uncaring pursuit of his goals. Others have focussed on the arguably positive aspects: The blows struck to the authority of powerful institutions as their private data was leaked. However, It’s worth noting that Assange is not necessarily an essential actor in these events. One wonders whether they would have occurred without him…

Although Assange rather arbitrarily dubs himself the 3rd best hacker in the world (and Edward Snowden as the 9th) I question whether someone with more self-doubt and empathy would have served just as well as a figurehead and founder of Wikileaks. There are many people with an extensive knowledge of networks, cryptology and cryptanalysis, some of whom might have possessed the integrity to apply the same principals of transparency to their own organization as those whose secure information they were publishing. They may not have vehemently insisted that recordings and manuscript were kept private. They may not have exhibited such a profound paranoia about spying and betrayal.

This is pure speculation, of course. Perhaps the grandness of Assange’s vision and his skill set are a very rare combination indeed, with some rather unfortunate side effects. Perhaps he is the only one whose idealism egoism and telecommunications/computing nous would have spawned Wikileaks, or similar.

Regrettably, I suppose this post only serves to add to the enormous amount of attention this man has garnered. Most of the credit goes to the whistle-blowers themselves and the people who sifted through all of the leaked information, attempting to make it meaningful to the general public.

It is almost unthinkable that multinational software corporations like Adobe and Autodesk are not aware of all the keygens, cracks and other means of illegally licensing and using their software available online. They probably have the resources and technically skilled staff needed to effectively combat software piracy, but what would they gain from this investment?

Assuming they were successful (the pirates are always on step ahead): You might think that they would gain tighter control of their various software markets. What would hobbyists and early career artists/technicians do if software used by sizeable animation, visual effects, architecture and engineering firms was completely unavailable to them?

  • They might buy cheaper alternatives, and help give big corporations’ competitors a fighting chance.
  • They might look into free and open source alternatives like GIMP (raster graphics), Inkscape (Vector graphics) and Blender (3D modelling and animation.) In my experience, Blender seldom, if ever crashes; the same can’t be said for Maya.

Neither of these possible consequences help the big corporations. Without software piracy, there would be a smaller pool of unemployed (or employed in different industries) workers skilled in their software.

If you really want a career as a CAD technician, photo retoucher, graphic designer or 3d artist, the chances are, you’ll do better if you continue to pirate industry standard software sold by giant corporations.  As a university student, you could even get Autodesk software free on an educational licence.

However, if you’re a hobbyist or someone looking to set up a firm who do things a little differently, consider this:

  • You could learn your craft in a way that doesn’t strengthen the monopoly of companies who profit from the software they’ve bought up from multiple developers.
  • You could do so without the constant fear of litigation.
  • You could eventually contribute to the open source projects you’ve benefited from.
  • You won’t feel like a powerless wage labourer, so grateful for a chance to work for someone who can afford the means of production, or to be that someone.

A teenage me might have though it clever and  naughty to use pirate software, but in my twenties, I’m starting to see the bigger picture.


When I recently posted some pieces of text generated by what would I say, I felt an urge to order them in a loosely narrative way. I’m making this the explicit aim of this post; I’m placing the original chunks of generated text back-to-back, without editing anything. These things I have written on facebook over the past five or so years, have been wrenched out of their contexts and shuffled, only for me to attempt to reorder them.


In 2005 in London. Frost, fog, forest, fields, autumnal leaves. I’m quite sure I returned from my darling friend Alex. It might be a pretty small venue so we walked down Paying full price as I couldn’t stay. Couldn’t loath my darling friend in Etonian drawl Yes, that’s what I’ve been programming this To be individually solid as rock. ‘it is our summer? Back pain and genealogy…

just woke up a castle whilst pissed given to drift into a paraphilia where sexual arousal is good Time to see you  Slept through you, just like your breath As for the innocence of youth; how I can’t get you oh, of makeup, and from childhood, through a neverending tunnel of you! .I’m waitin’ for flesh And real blood I’ll watch you Likely to draw such sublimity, hence Sonorous erection. The sad thing was innocence, turned on my life, but take time I know that What she said, was sad, but after that ‘Her skirt ascends for nothing’

This is very embarrassing way to see it, besides developing a new face. I’d like a desire to cleanse me Wish I’d feel humiliated if I enjoy it though.

I look for work with detachable limbs It’s from an outspoken advocate of eugenics. This is the yobbo occidentalis, generally accepted view nowadays. Oh, it depends on the receiving end, right? His death for a vindaloo But I can type quickly and it sustains him. Typing with my better studied by trained natural scientists, and finish my degree. We’re going to distract the peasants from the middle east. Fret not for me, I’m afraid. 24 hours or another hacker community seems clear to pin the foul taste of horse shit. Darling, don’t look so retardedly happy whateveritwas, I just purchased a kind of oppression. All the shower Pushing my wandering fancy and conspicuous consumption isn’t vulgar enough.

Productivity has dropped since returning to raise you Whenever I decide it would not I look like a dog round your behest. Couriers will have to contract HIV I’m sometimes shocked by human stupidity. I’m quite conventional really vivid, I had help from time to involve performance and scholarly halls of wine. Hopefully my dissertation won’t end up to be displaying the absurd thing was offered opportunities for procrastination. Reminds me You can run the course

It’s from an unsigned Nottingham band to Justin Bieber. They’ll take 25 second to do hear a week?

Terrorism is playing with a gaping hole in my Eyes My better judgement said they had none If that were the case, as friction relies on our experience of oppression… That is disturbing, and demands the blackest thoughts

just woke up fully; I’m aiming to cut yes’s throat and never its mum in order to take that Brisk, invigorating walk up and it is the application of makeup, and alliteration Alas, my craft’s not Walking in a wallsocket’ Less importantly, I think there is always steeped in social behaviour and that is unreservedly thankful for an invasion of memories. This Hash,masculine,saliva a painting half hours of a drag outfit. Here are hate, jealousy, hurry, and indifference frothed into them, and masculinity now. Roll on one of the dominant order. I view these chaps Staring out of future taxpayers like so many football fans in the way we are, with dreadful dancing on this Soon you will drown in the foul taste of the phalanx of phalocentricity. It might be outdated or ideologically biased. a custom whereby a man Come back to moo milk. Give me something better than patriarchy or don’t get me

Your point is cogent, compelling even, but the deeds of a few months. and the whole affair,the apparent attempt almost to pin the tragedy on my brazen, bawdy, tawdry bed Nothing more ‘Don’t you make a theory of my mental hygiene I’m all out

Got my life, but take it, it’s quite old.

Nah, I’m breaking to pieces, i’ll toss a lower melting point I dwell in the English language.

I came across this web app called What Would I Say. It parses what you’ve posted to facebook and generates random text based on this.

Rather than annoying all my facebook friends by posting loads of generated sentences, I’ll copy a few noteworthy ones here. It’s unlikely you’ll find the rearranged song lyrics, autobiographical minutiae, literary quotes, computer geekery and general weirdness as interesting as I do, nevertheless:


  • well I was only due to be tied up in the most popular newspaper for you?

  • This is very serious people I had help from a bee’s behind!

  • Minute, undetectable teapot, hear my plea!

  • I’ve been targeted by a car enthusiast.

  • ‘In a look of pride after devouring a bull elephant.

  • Cycling offroad without my epileptic vomiting donkey.

  • I wouldn’t enter into owl mode again.

  • may be developing a transsexual partner.

  • I wouldn’t legally be able to get an autotuned eunuch.

  • Thanks for all over my hoe’s from LA,Hawaii and Japan.

  • I’d prefer western ones, like a peado’

  • Each household appliance is like a boy I request, in Guatamala.’

  • It’s not the savoury scent of salt swol’n cunt. Swol’n indeed

  • I wouldn’t legally be allowed to socialize, becasue I have though the Yahoo toolbar, a child weeps.
  • ‘I can find myself masticating a large crow, and rather than other teachers from continental philosophy is illegal, as it is…
  • We’re supposed to have a tendency to contract HIV I’m afraid.

  • It is called Terminal std.

  • Hmm, maybe the fun’s diminished now

  • You may also have been awful quality.

  • I wouldn’t legally permitted to resent this…

  • is a big hunk of fruitbread full of clichés.

  • I’lll put it in the Guardian XD.

  • If only for the purposes of sleep, followed by cake.

  • That was £0.50 per book per book, per hour.


  • It is infinite, then it just phantom pain.

  • Dasein said ‘I am exposed. The former sounds like a year fairly hurried.
  • Life is a behaviour rather than this, I’ll toss a simple radio transmitter

  • Nope Baudrillard is smaller than patriarchy or later is still not

  • uncontrolled birthrates are so postmodern…

  • Bureaucracy is infinite, then started to realise that

  • ‘The mongrel cat came home, holding half my gender and only after drinking some…

  • My head feels as my outline.

  • I wouldn’t mind to drift in vinous mists as he does not

  • But I can’t help me

  • Damn you, body!

  • Also, since I was told to see humanity repeat the same atrocities again and again.

  • might actually vomit if it happened there, I swive, I think.

  • Would it kill him a photograph of some feminist writing

  • People from my gender are necessary because they are your plans?

  • Just noticed how about your existence is very serious people I sometimes find frustrating.

  • I wouldn’t be complete without you.

  • Using old Testament eyeforandeye. Or, if I think I always lie.

  • I wouldn’t mind some degree of erudition, otherwise be blinded by the basins, you

  • Nope Live in a relationship with unpopular ideas. ‘


  • No large crow, and rather sensitive about my old fashioned, but I’m of water filter was full of owls!

  • I wouldn’t legally be developing a vampiric complexion, is called starvation.’ Harsh but spoton Dawkins.

  • at the while, valuable and dangerous, I had to do something to power ‘Some ideas simply too old fashioned, but I’m moving through a Fulltime undergraduate BA in Nazi regaila!

  • Having trouble containing the violence. The purposes of human beings, so identity politics and ruddy a charity fundraiser of my wandering fancy and literature in equal measures = false; Improve clothingMesh; if anyone starts on a video related injury, I’m filing a sign of negligible intelligence

  • Too much for teen boys to ignore the violence. The difference between a joist and a fresh cadaver?

  • fine art* Alas, the shafts of his vocabulary consisted of electronic versions of human beings, so this

  • Revolting!…The verb.’ BJ ‘Oh.. dear… Well I was thinking of phalocentricity.

  • Middle aged chap who never really went well, though the sun in pale maudlin winter…

  • Just noticed my male insecurities ‘Your unique contribution to shoot footage when I have also shag stuff.

  • It is contrary to find I can repay the weekend’s serotonin debt in the most of my wit’s blade, though blunt it works. Worst grades I’ve had gotten from a bee’s behind!

  • Dancing to metal is fucking intense, nearly wrenched my hoe’s from the art scene in decline when I applied for a JSON handling library I’m afraid so, when his company entered the majority of jumpers, walk up with a lot of interest in suffering in my tongue, when you

  • Ignoring the current rates of dull throbbing pain in Loughborough yet?

  • Terrorism is fine, although I do hear a bit defensive. One way to sadder shores Your sense another six inches I request, in view these models as such, I suppose.

  • Took me of my actions carry a torpor, located, as pure relationship. Then we can actually feel my brain has been found in any of his lifestyle a woman, one becomes the weight my brazen, bawdy, tawdry bed Nothing more

  • Surprisingly, I quite popular at the body’s interminable shifting and reconstruction in the savoury scent of a blank grey soul glows red for a big fan of idealism. I get that

  • Any cretinous Americans celebrating Osama bin Laden’s death should have to change their minds, under present circumstances, Labour actually buy this

  • I wouldn’t enter there You’ve nothing I had a test when I have been awful daylight, although it will be blood on the following categories White, male bodies.’ Hopefully my dissertation on seagull behaviour such a considerable investment is higher and boring weekend after so much for teen boys will be as forests fell’d Before the class or sexuality. I agree with nothing to implement’. Anyway, only this

  • Look for a cogent point, as the male, middle aged chap who walks around the corner was thinking about how I miss any of us actually vomit black letters on this

  • Appears to have left half a pigeon in a point, but I’m thinking of being vegan for pricks and on one until this

  • The time and work every one example of copyright violation, child porn, or the lingual order of compulsory heterosexuality later if I do I miss any serious trouble believing that

  • This is very lanky, it’s a platonic love, is very articulate gentleman, got a sacrin syrup of insincerity drips from the 19th century onwards, which concerns itself with more

  • your name like ice, into my private key card may be a bit my head which I think they’ve just got a behaviour of Scotch now…

  • There was painfully close to woo the female with a common source of headaches gametessperm and 15 minutes of their aid all the kind of me

  • Has been deflowered and think she’s brave but callous as it will field an electricblue flinch or something like 1.7 on Demonoid, if I sometimes find myself violently, as the power asymmetry present it; dry, static and have to imply that

  • Why are women the World, dump her barren womb mirror. And his multiple spouse wounds

  • Remember when Teachers, Civil disobedience against an authoritarian regime in The fridge, crawling with his partner’s like a cat person, so no.

  • ‘So that’s the theory at LOUGHBOROUGH UNIVERSITY Your tuition fee coming on It’s numbing a human error into the News of the crowd and the notion of reality.

  • Yeah, I swive, I strive for pricks and on my old topic. I was nice to or trust. Luckily my fire In restless dreams I’ll toss a blur. As you

  • Hungover, sleepdeprived and 2011/12 student Finance declaration forms neural pathways so strong they can withstand even

  • incommodumludusophilia A great reputation for male attention in a crowded public space, repeatedly hearing myself violently, as friction relies on both look like manner.

  • I wouldn’t have rationality and I hardly the way outside what looked like a pulled muscle in my head feels as my books list is.

  • and the case scenario, I wonder what they just look like be in bad press’ — I’ve spent six weeks left to be interested to see deeper, see abstractly and above another, and thin, distorted and thin, distorted and thin, distorted and thin

  • My head feels great hurry, the towers of gender, race, class or other small six legged insects, and finish this

  • Teenagers swarmed in, shouting Bwap, bwap.’ Did they all the walls are hidden behind bars in the arse!

  • A’ LEAST I think I have my solemn assurances, bitches will put masculinities forward led to a similar joke.

  • so…sickened, I’m moving through the skin, the phosphorescent goose that

  • and the the the funniest fictional personae in front of one to avoid eye contact, you

  • Nothing like a spade. In public view abstract painting can give us the body’s states to be tied up in the rules Grab the book closest to deal with a University planted on the face when I suppose…


  • Fork?

  • It’s not noun.

  • x doesn’t wish to a grownup mood’.

  • Come back here again’ SLAG Return to cuddle afterwards?’ Frankie Boyle

  • ‘Thank you for your wall — so much platitudinous Drivel.

  • Cycled from Kings Cross to Essex, only to see the beer Belly.

  • Portal induced motion suicide

  • student finance England’s GDP isn’t falling anymore so no

  • They are rather disgusting…

  • Two hours of psychological harm this

  • could eat a pocket monster in your sleep.

  • In all honesty, I’m still be able to do a little smile

  • We’re supposed to be perfectly capable of seeping

  • Sometimes I might look into ridges and essays can eat a salad and humus sandwich

  • Yes It’s hexadecimal for a DDoS attack, TPB blocked by the Velvet wings of night and I’m told.

  • I wouldn’t kill you A desire for flesh And real social behaviour is illegal, as it has been. Right

  • collected data on a bit, it seems it’ll do.’ Feeling nauseous and depressed

  • This is the towers of huge bundles of files from USB drives, so um, a week

  • Calcified Zygotes ‘Crack em open eyes’

  • It’s not I do have an abortion, I expected as much.

  • Unfortunately, they don’t know if I look at 1600 * 900 px.

  • 12 or 1 followed by cake.

  • The time they just been diagnosed with FPTP…

  • lol, I tried being vegan for the other JRPGs for oil.

  • Alan Partridge, much to sort out

Who’s going to read my blog? What sort of blogs will I be exposed to? Our choice of blogging platform has some bearing on these questions.

(One caveat: I wrote this in October 2013; if you’re reading it in 2015 or later, most of this information will be useless.)

Rather than looking primarily at the quality of available blogging services and whether their features would suit my needs like a lot of reviewers, I’m focusing on the people that make up blogging communities. In my example, I’ll be assessing Alexa’s top three ranked free blogging services: WordPress, Blogger and Tumblr as candidates for a secondary blog. I’m doing this because like many artists, I already have a website where I can post all kinds of content. My site runs on the award-winning open source content management system Joomla; It is stable, customizable and functions well as blog. What it lacks, is ready access to millions of potentially similar blogs and the ability to comment on them using a single account that leads to my blog and website. offers popularity rankings, user demographics and other stats that can help us gain a broad overview of a website’s visitors and how they behave. With a global rank of 13, Blogger is the most popular blogging service in the world. However, the majority of it’s traffic comes from America. WordPress is ranked 15th globally and while my native UK makes up 3.8% of visitors, it is still the 15th most popular site on this relatively small landmass. Tumblr is the least popular, with a global rank of 26, but similarly, because a mere 4.1% of its visitors are based in the UK it is the 18th most popular site here. Blogger is the most extreme example, being the most popular overall, but ranked 69th in the UK. The fact that blogger is the least popular in the UK could have some consequences: I’d find it less convenient read and interact with blogs of people I meet face-to-face in the UK and I’d be far less likely to network with people with links to UK universities, galleries and other institutions.

Another part of Alexa’s traffic analysis that may be useful is their audience engagement stats. has the highest Bounce Rate, meaning that a high percentage of visitors don’t continue browsing after viewing one page, and lowest Pageviews per Visitor and Daily Time Spent on Site – thought the site is currently improving, with the first statistic falling and the second two rising. While Tumblr has the best of these stats, they are moving in the opposite direction to WordPress’, meaning that the site may be deteriorating. Blogger’s Bounce Rate is the lowest, and is falling; Its Daily Time on Site is mediocre but rising. As I have little reason to think that current trends will continue, I think Tumblr performs best in this area.

While traffic analysis stats tell us a bit about who visits a site and how they do it, it’s possible to get some idea of the content of a website using search engines. Below is a table of the estimated numbers of results in each site for different search terms using Bing. I chose MS Bing because it’s unaffiliated – unlike Google, Microsoft doesn’t have the incentive or ability to immediately index all new Blogger blogs.
art 17,400,000 8,740,000 17,400,000
“digital art” 361,000 132,000 383,000
fiction 2,910,000 2,460,000 1,120,000
philosophy 2,150,000 1,880,000 357,000
poetry 2,860,000 2,680,000 11,600,000
prose 711,000 445,000 5,710,000
“interactive prose” 9,290 2,860 30
“interactive poetry” 2,660 2,080 6
“digital poetry” 2,740 2,430 69
“digital fiction” 1,400 2,400 71
“interactive fiction” 16,200 12,600 4,070
“Games design” 79,000 7,420 6,330
“indie games design” 5,100 2,970 4,010
unity3d 33,800 12,500 7,260
“blender 3d” 41,900 12,100 7,030
GIMP 559,000 247,000 78,400
c# 1,000,000 534,000 8,250
TOTAL: 28,143,090 17,175,360 36,685,526

I chose the particular words based on my personal interests. I’m confident most of you could compile a similar list. Tumblr’s much higher total owes to the millions of results for the rather generic terms prose, poetry and art. For more specific phrases, and software-related terms, Tumblr doesn’t deliver. Blogspot certainly does better in this area, as well as yielding more results for the general terms. WordPress falls somewhere in the middle with no great flaws or strengths.

In my case, each of our three blogging services performs best in one category: WordPress in most popular in my native UK, Tumblr tends to have more engaged visitors and blogspot seems to have more content that is relevant to most of my interests. There are several other factors here. WordPress does better in terms of quality and features, as this ranking of blogging services indicates. I have past experience of both WordPress and Blogger, albeit four years ago, and I did enjoy the former more. I’m also fond of WordPress because it’s a quality open source project, which represents countless hours of work by highly skilled volunteers. If we were going on features alone, WordPress would be a winner, but I already use its more complex and powerful competitor Joomla. Blogger gets a decent review on TopTenREVIEWS, while Tumblr doesn’t appear in the ranking. This review from PC Magazine is hardly overflowing with praise. The very idea of emphasising images at the expense of text goes against many of my inclinations. Especially as, in practice, pornographic images end up circulating widely (Tumblr had the highest number of Bing results for the term “porn”.) Blogger, on the other hand, while not as high quality as WordPress, is geared toward more conventionally verbose blogs and is highly customisable – allowing you to edit the HTML directly.

I am torn between the quality of WordPress, and the fact it has a large share of the UK market and the greater relevance of Blogger. Regardless of how enjoyable wordpress might beto use, it’s audience engagement stats are underwhelming – it’s far more important that people enjoy reading enough to carry on doing so. Perhaps I can could use Twitter and Facebook as a link to UK based networks and Blogger to find a community of like-minded artists and writers. It is also worth remembering that google has a 67% share of the search engine market and will be guaranteed to index all of my content if I use Blogger. At this stage, I think it’s worth putting that theory to the test by running the test I ran earlier with Google search:
art 226,000,000 55,200,000 87,100,000
“digital art” 742,000 369,000 364,000
fiction 38,500,000 18,500,000 5,130,000
philosophy 14,600,000 7,300,000 731,000
poetry 28,800,000 2,260,000 2,590,000
prose 4,090,000 445,000 308,000
“interactive prose” 43 93 2
“interactive poetry” 4,270 5,240 162
“digital poetry” 3,980 14,100 1,200
“digital fiction” 6,980 9,420 71
“interactive fiction” 23,100 18,300 974
“Games design” 31,000 17,600 4,500
“indie games design” 9 10 7
unity3d 61,900 203,000 24,900
“blender 3d” 53,500 16,500 10,900
GIMP 1,090,000 415,000 83,300
c# 1,570,000 828,000 13,600
TOTAL: 315,576,782 85,601,263 96,362,616

Even if my conjecture about Google indexing their own blogs very thoroughly is true, WordPress scores higher in a handful of quite specialised areas: Unity3d, digital poetry, interactive poetry and interactive prose. In sampling Blogger, I also discovered that it is possible to comment on others’ blogs using a WordPress account – WordPress doesn’t appear to have the reverse option. This means that if I could easily interact with both communities, as well as enjoying the quality and UK popularity of WordPress.

This fast food stand
stands fast
against a bucolic backdrop
on the edge of one of the jaws
of suburbia’s pliers
that clasp a wedge of countryside
It stands in the corner of a parking lot
beside a pub
from which drunken karaoke
sometimes bumbles up
to my bedroom window

Sluggish and gummy-eyed
he shuts the side-door
against the cold
fills the trays with salad
turns on the grill
It warms up
Buds and shoots emerge
amid chirping
above scurrying
and tentative foraging

This fast food stand
stood fast
against my gaze
against days
and days of recession
nights of depression
Frigwell Kebabs Burgers & Chicken
The sign is backlit
competing with the street-lights
The nearby pair
of pregnant glass hemispheres
holding incandescent foetuses
hung from concave black cones
on tapering triangular brackets

This fast food stand
between me
and the distant
glimmering rows of lights
onto which
I project my hopes
of a me-shaped vacancy
in the dynamism of London
Though I know they are just
part of another suburb
perhaps solid and clear
to its own fools
staring out of their own windows
at distant lights

The foliage behind the stand
absorbs the unrelenting sun
with far more grace
than the people
The year-round orange of fake tan
takes on a reddish hue
as it masks sunburn
but even in
this sweltering heat
there is demand for
sweating meat

This fast food stand
that stood fast
during my year
of relative poverty
and effective isolation
waiting for an EU passport
punctuated by threats
from the university debt collector
will stand fast
as I whittle away
at some project
or other
eventually getting a half-respectable job
and giving up on this
art and writing

A grey sheet of cloud hangs overhead
He lifts a white sheet of metal
to reveal a compact kitchen
and form a small awning
above the gathering schoolchildren
They yap their orders
and squirt condiments
into polystyrene trays
Rain pools on the flat roof
A boy in a hooded tracksuit
frenetically paces the tarmac
mobile in hand
This fast food stand
soggily abandoned
and dimly visible
as the night-time branches above
and caress a street-light

This fast food stand
will stand fast
the gradual erosion of civil liberties
impinge on anyone’s right
to get pissed after work and have a kebab
Until we are all palpably powerless
and stripped of all privacy
every now and then
we who feel it approaching
can enact
our habitual ritual of contrition
and sign another petition

The final ragged leaf
clings to the damp tarmac
The sinuous skeletal products
of an unhalting pursuit of nourishment
are naked
Steam exhaled
and exuded
by grey meat
as a single
chip slips
onto dirty slush

This fast food stand
will stand fast
as the finite
runs out
and more of us slip
below the poverty line
The government suppresses
a desperate and angry multitude
The world is overpopulated
You wish you’d never copulated
You’re not even stricken with grief
that instead of chicken and beef
the stand now serves textured human protein
The ultimate monoculture